i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
this hospital has no fireball
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
