I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
