How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
