I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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