No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
