just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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