So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
