Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
