I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
