Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
