So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
