guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
