I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
