I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
