If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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