He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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