I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
