why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
