It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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