so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
