Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
