When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
