First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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