i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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