he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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