So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
