And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Congratulations! We have a period
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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