too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
