Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
