So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
