Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
