Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
