Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
