is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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