Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
