"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
did you just send me my own nude
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
