I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
