Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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