I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you didnt know i had herpes?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
