Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
