Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
