rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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