yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Bring me that man meat
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
