Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
