How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
