How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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