its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
