We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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