And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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