Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
